Family and Society Harmony

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Unit-3 Family and Society Topic Weightage Harmony in the Family - the Basic Unit of Human Interaction 20% Trust - the Foundational Value in Relationship Respect - as the Right Evaluative parameter Values in Human-to-Human Relationship Understanding Harmony in the Society Vision for the Universal Human Order 3.1 Harmony in the Family – the Basic Unit of Human Interaction Every person is born into a family, which serves as the foundational unit of human society. Families provide the environment in which individuals learn to appreciate, accept and live in harmonious relationships. In essence, the family is where we first begin to understand the art of living with others. Understanding the concept of Family and Relationship as the Basis for Harmony in the Family: Family harmony happens when people truly understand each other and care enough to meet each other's needs. This means taking time to understand the feelings and needs within the family—and then acting on them with kindness and support. In order to fulfil relationship, it is necessary to understand relationship. The following are four important aspects of relationship: Relationship is – between one Self ($I_1$) and another Self ($I_2$). There are feelings in relationship – in one Self ($I_1$) for the other Self ($I_2$). These feelings can be recognised – they are definite. The fulfilment of these feelings and their right evaluation led to mutual happiness. 1. Relationship is – between one Self ($I_1$) and another Self ($I_2$). Relationships aren't constructed—they pre-exist and simply need recognition. They involve the Self ($I_1$) relating to another Self ($I_2$), not merely physical bodies. In true relationships, feelings arise from the Self, not just the body—highlighting the emotional and spiritual dimensions of connection. 2. There are feelings in relationship – in one Self ($I_1$) for the other Self ($I_2$). We can see that feelings are in the Self, not in the Body. It is the Self which has the feelings and which recognises the feelings. 3. These feelings can be recognised – they are definite. These feelings can be recognised, they are certain. There are nine essential relationship feelings or values that are universal and definable: Trust (foundation) Respect Affection Care Guidance Reverence Glory Gratitude Love (complete value) 4. The fulfilment of these feelings and their right evaluation led to mutual happiness. By recognizing, feeling, expressing and rightly evaluating these values, relationships promote mutual happiness—benefiting both giver and receiver. Justice as Relational Harmony: Justice emerges when relationships are rightly recognized, feelings are fulfilled responsibly and expressions are properly evaluated. This leads to mutual happiness, establishing a fair and harmonious bond. Key Takeaways: Relationships aren't built—they exist. Our task is to understand, enrich and express the nine key values within ourselves and share them earnestly. When feelings are properly recognized, fulfilled and appreciated, harmony and mutual joy naturally arise—not just within families, but extending to society and beyond. 3.2 Trust – the Foundational Value in Relationship Trust is the foundation of any strong and healthy family. It creates a sense of safety, emotional connection and understanding among family members. Without trust, relationships weaken, communication breaks down, and emotional distance grows. Therefore, trust is essential for building lasting bonds and ensuring the overall well-being of every family member. Trust as the foundation value: Definition of Trust: Trust means being sure that the other person wants to make you happy and does not want to harm you. It is the belief in their good intention, even if they may not always succeed due to lack of ability or experience. In relationships, trust is the foundation. It grows when we understand that everyone naturally wants to live in harmony and contribute to each other's well-being. Trust brings assurance that the other person genuinely wants to make you happy and prosperous. However, to truly understand trust, we must distinguish between two key aspects: intention (what we genuinely want) and competence (our ability to make it happen). To examine trust clearly, we can reflect on eight self-inquiry questions: Intention (Natural Acceptance) Competence 1a. Do I want to make myself happy? 1b. Am I able to make myself always happy? 2a. Do I want to make the other happy? 2b. Am I able to make the other always happy? 3a. Does the other want to make himself/herself happy? 3b. Is the other able to make himself/herself always happy? 4a. Does the other want to make me happy? 4b. Is the other able to make me always happy? Difference between Intention and Competence: Aspect Intention Competence Meaning The inner desire or purpose behind an action The actual ability or skill to do something correctly Based on Natural acceptance (what we truly want within ourselves) Experience, knowledge, and understanding Example I want to help my friend I may or may not know how to help my friend effectively Evaluation: Ourselves Others Evaluation Basis Positively on intention Negatively on competence Key Point Intention is usually good and constant Competence can improve over time with effort Generally, we believe our intentions are good—we want happiness for ourselves and others. But when judging others, we often focus on their competence—whether they succeed in making us happy. When they fail, we wrongly assume their intention was bad, leading to mistrust and conflict. This mismatch—judging ourselves by our intention and others by their ability—is a common mistake in relationships. It creates opposition and leads to assumptions such as: "Strangers can't be trusted." "Trust must be earned over time." "You should never trust anyone." Actually, trust is about recognising the genuine intention behind the other person's actions, even if they lack the skill or ability to express it fully. If we trust their intention, we support them in improving their competence, rather than reacting with anger or suspicion. Key Takeaways: Trust means believing that others truly want our well-being. When we trust each other without conditions, relationships become strong and meaningful. To build this trust, we must see the difference between someone's intention and their ability and respond with understanding instead of doubt. This helps us grow together and live peacefully. 3.3 Respect – as the Right Evaluative parameter Respect is one of the most essential values for meaningful relationships and peaceful living. It begins when we rightly understand and evaluate others. When people feel respected, they feel accepted and valued. On the other hand, any misjudgement or bias can lead to a feeling of disrespect. Feeling of Respect: Respect means right evaluation — seeing a person as they truly are, especially at the level of the Self. Disrespect occurs in three ways: Over-evaluation: (giving more credit than due) - ex. When you are happy with a child, you start saying, he can do anything. Under-evaluation: (giving less value) – ex. When you are angry with a child, you say, he is good for nothing. Otherwise-evaluation: (seeing someone as something they are not) - ex. When you are very much angry with a child, you say, he is a donkey. Right-evaluation Over-evaluation Under-evaluation / Otherwise-evaluation Self-confidence, self-esteem, positivity Ego, Wrong Assumptions, Disharmony within Depression, Tension, Frustration To truly respect someone, we need to see the minimum common ground we all share: Our Purpose is same - We all want happiness and prosperity. Our Programme is same - We all follow a similar path to achieve it (by seeking harmony). Our inner potential is same- We all are gifted with same natural acceptance and the activities of desire, thought and expectation. The Disrespect arising out of Differentiation: In relationships, we often make the mistake of focusing only on our differences, instead of recognizing our common humanity. This habit leads to differentiation, which results in disrespect and conflict. Differentiation happens when we judge others based on: Body (age, gender, race, physical strength) Physical facilities (wealth, status, job position) Beliefs (religion, ideology, caste, or information) When we give more or less respect to someone because of these external factors, we are discriminating, not respecting. This kind of behaviour is based on a false idea that humans are only their body or possessions. In truth, every human being is a combination of Self and Body, and we are similar at the level of Self. Differentiation leads to disrespect, which causes dissatisfaction, opposition, and even violence or war in society. To build real harmony, we must learn to evaluate others based on the Self, not just external differences. Respect grows when we recognize that all human beings share the same purpose, programme and potential, even if we differ in competence. True respect deepens when we see the complementarity in relationships: If someone has more understanding than us, we learn from them. If we have more understanding, we support others unconditionally. So, complete respect means: the other is similar to me in purpose, programme and potential and complementary to me in competence. Key Takeaways: Respect means truly understanding and accepting others for who they are. When we avoid judging and see both the similarities and differences with care, we create harmony. This helps everyone grow and builds a more respectful and peaceful society. 3.4 Values in Human-to-Human Relationship Human values play a vital role in building and maintaining meaningful, harmonious, and lasting relationships. Human values are like the foundation of a strong building. Without them, relationships may break under stress. With them, relationships grow with love, respect and understanding. The following values play a key role in building and nurturing strong relationships: 1. Affection: (Love, Warmth) Meaning: Affection is the natural feeling of accepting another person as part of one's own family or close circle. It is the warmth and emotional bond that arises when we recognize that the other person genuinely wishes for our well-being and happiness—regardless of their or our abilities. It comes from understanding and internalizing that relationships are based on mutual care and not on external achievements. Role in Relationships: Affection plays a crucial role in forming and sustaining meaningful relationships. It leads to deeper commitment and mutual responsibility. Without affection, relationships can become strained. The absence of affection often gives rise to negative feelings like opposition, rivalry, or jealousy. For affection to remain constant, it must generate from genuine understanding rather than expectations. If it is merely assumed or demanded, it becomes unstable and conditional. 2. Care: (Concern) Meaning: Care is the feeling of responsibility and commitment toward nurturing and protecting the Body of someone we consider a relative or someone we feel connected to. It arises naturally from affection and reflects our concern for the physical well-being of the other. It involves both looking after their needs and ensuring their safety, comfort, and health. Role in Relationships: Care is one of the first expressions of love and commitment in a relationship. It shows that we take the other person's needs seriously and are willing to act for their well-being. It becomes visible in two ways: Responsibility for the Body – making sure the person is physically safe, healthy, and comfortable. Responsibility for the Self – gently guiding and supporting their inner growth and emotional needs. When we care for someone, we willingly go out of our way for them, even when it causes inconvenience. This feeling, when genuine, makes our actions meaningful and joyful rather than burdensome. The presence of care changes our attitude—from duty performed under pressure to actions done with happiness. 3. Guidance: (Direction) Meaning: Guidance is the feeling of responsibility and commitment to make sure right understanding and right feelings in the Self of the other person, especially our relatives. It arises from a deeper concern not just for the physical well-being (Body), but for the overall development and harmony of the Self. Role in Relationship: Guidance plays a crucial role in nurturing the Self of a relative, especially in families. It involves supporting the development of right values, understanding and decision-making abilities. Parents, elders, or teachers provide not only physical care but also help shape the worldview, clarity and emotional well-being of the younger members. True guidance comes from a state of right understanding in the one who guides. If the guide lacks clarity, it can lead to transmitting confusion or pre-conditioning rather than actual guidance. It is not limited to children; every human being needs guidance at various stages of life to grow in the right direction. Harmonious guidance includes listening to the child, acknowledging their Self, and helping them develop their own ability to make right decisions through trust and proposals. In contrast, imposing fear-based feeding methods (e.g., plastic lizard threats) or overfeeding without consent shows neglect of the child's Self, even if unintentionally. 4. Reverence: (Respect, Devotion) Meaning: Reverence is the feeling of acceptance for excellence. Excellence here means being in a state of continuous happiness through understanding and living in harmony at all levels—within the Self, in the family, in society, and in nature. When we recognize someone who has achieved this state of harmony and inner fulfilment the natural response is reverence. Role in Relationship: Reverence plays a significant role in inspiring growth within relationships. It is not just admiration of someone's external achievements, but recognition of their inner clarity, understanding and harmony. Reverence encourages us to make efforts toward our own excellence, a process referred to as worship—not in a ritualistic sense, but as a joyous and conscious effort for self-growth. Reverence is different from respect: Respect is the right evaluation of every human being. Reverence is a special feeling reserved for those who have realized and live in excellence. Reverence fosters complementarity instead of competition. A person in excellence naturally wants to support others in achieving the same, rather than dominate or surpass them. 5. Glory: (Admiration) Meaning: Glory is the feeling of acceptance for those who have made effort for excellence. It arises when we recognize the sincerity and dedication of individuals who strive to live with right understanding and harmony, even if they have not fully achieved excellence yet. This feeling is directed not only toward those who are already great, but also toward those honestly working toward that state. Role in Relationship: Glory reflects our appreciation and recognition of sincere efforts made by others toward self-development and harmony. It creates a positive and respectful emotional environment in relationships, especially within families and communities. We naturally expect our parents, teachers, and elders to make sincere efforts toward excellence, and when they do, we feel a sense of glory for them. This feeling becomes a source of inspiration—it helps younger members of the family or community strive for excellence themselves. Glory is an important aspect of value-based evaluation—we do not glorify people for power, fame, or wealth, but for their inner growth and contribution to others' well-being. 6. Gratitude: (Thankfulness) Meaning: Gratitude is the feeling of acceptance for those who have made effort for my excellence. It arises when we acknowledge the contributions of others—whether family, teachers, or society at large—in helping us grow in our understanding and living. Role in Relationship: Gratitude is a crucial emotion in nurturing meaningful and lasting relationships. It strengthens emotional bonds by recognizing the care, support and efforts of others, especially in the family. It helps children understand and appreciate what their parents, teachers, and elders have done—not only at the level of physical facility but especially for the growth of the Self. Gratitude also leads to humility and responsibility—when we realize what has been done for us, we feel inspired to do the same for others, especially the next generation. This feeling extends beyond the family to society, nature, and all the systems involved in supporting our life. 7. Love: Meaning: Love is the feeling of being related to all. It is the most complete value that encompasses and integrates all other human values—trust, respect, affection, care, guidance, reverence, glory and gratitude. Love begins as affection toward a few but grows through understanding into a deep acceptance of every human being and all units in nature. It is based on the recognition of coexistence and mutual fulfilment, not on sensory attraction or temporary emotion. Role in Relationship: Love is the foundation of an undivided society—where one feels related to every individual, irrespective of family, community, or nationality. It begins with understanding the other—accepting their natural intention for mutual happiness and current level of competence. Love is expressed through: Kindness – Helping the other when they need support but lack resources or ability. Beneficence – Offering help even when the other is unaware of their need, such as guiding someone toward right understanding. Compassion – Helping others unconditionally, without expecting anything in return, even if they haven't asked for help. This feeling of love deepens mutual development and creates an environment of care and responsibility. Unlike infatuation (which is sensory, temporary, and conditional), love is unconditional, stable, and lifelong, arising from right understanding and inner clarity. Love leads us to "stand in love" (with commitment and responsibility), not just "fall in love" (based on physical attraction or emotions). Comparison between Love and Infatuation: Aspect Love Infatuation Basis Understanding and acceptance of the intention and potential Sensation, attraction to physical appearance or pleasure Nature Stable, unconditional, long-lasting Temporary, conditional, fades with change in sensation Emotional Depth Deep emotional connection and long commitment Shallow emotional excitement, thrill Focus Mutual growth, well-being, and development Personal satisfaction and self-pleasure Outcome in Relationship Leads to fulfilment, harmony, strengthening of relationship Can lead to conflict, arguments, even breakdown of relationship Impact on Society Builds undivided society, stable families Causes divisions, emotional instability, and fractured relationships Examples Caring for a partner unconditionally, helping in personal growth Getting upset when partner's appearance or attention changes 8. Justice: Meaning: Justice is the recognition, fulfilment, and evaluation of human-human relationships, leading to mutual happiness. It is based on understanding and living in alignment with the natural acceptance of relationships. Role in Relationship: Helps establish and maintain mutual trust and harmony. Involves accepting the other as they are (recognition), ensuring right feelings and responsibility (fulfilment), and verifying whether right feelings are understood and returned (evaluation). Leads to mutual development and emotional security in relationships. Prevents conflicts by removing wrong assumptions and expectations. 3.5 Understanding Harmony in the Society We know that no family lives alone — every family is connected to other families, forming a family cluster and wider society. We constantly interact with many people around us, which shapes our social life. But for society to be in harmony, families need to live in harmony. And for families to be harmonious, individuals must first have inner harmony. That's why we began by understanding harmony within the human being, then in the family and now in society. A peaceful and balanced society starts with individuals who live with understanding and right feelings. Three Aspects of Society: The goal of human being living in society (Human Goal) The system required to achieve human goal Scope of this system 1. What is the Goal of Human Beings in Society? Every human being living in a society has four basic goals: Right Understanding and Right Feelings – leading to Happiness in every person Prosperity - enough physical resources for every family Fearlessness (Trust) – in relationships and society Co-existence (Mutual Fulfilment) – living in harmony with nature These four are called the Human Goals, and they are needed for true happiness and peace in society. 1.1 What's Going Wrong Today? (Appraisal of the Current Status): Many people believe that money is everything, and that's where the problem begins. Because of this: Happiness is chased through money, not relationships. Prosperity is confused with more and more accumulation. Trust is replaced by fear, domination, and violence. Instead of living in harmony with nature, we try to exploit it, leading to pollution and resource shortage. This creates a society full of competition, stress and imbalance. 1.2 What is the Right Order to Achieve the Human Goal? To live in harmony, we should aim to fulfil these goals in a proper sequence: Right Understanding and Right Feeling (Happiness) Prosperity (for all families) Fearlessness (Trust in society) Co-existence (with nature) This sequence helps to build a society where people live with peace, security and fulfilment. 2. The system required to achieve human goal To reach the human goal, society needs five key systems: System Name What It Does Helps to Achieve 1. Education-Sanskar Builds right understanding, values and purpose in life Happiness 2. Health-Self Regulation Takes care of the body through right living and discipline Prosperity 3. Production-Work Produces things we need for the body in a people- and eco-friendly way Prosperity 4. Justice-Preservation Builds trust among people and care for nature Fearlessness & Co-existence 5. Exchange-Storage Shares and stores physical resources without greed Prosperity & Fearlessness 1. Education-Sanskar Education: Helps us understand harmony in ourselves, family, society, and nature. Sanskar: Helps us accept and live that harmony naturally. True education prepares us to live with purpose, not just earn degrees. 2. Health and Self-Regulation Self-regulation: Taking responsibility for your own body. When your Self (inner being) and Body are in sync, that is health. A healthy person uses resources properly, and doesn't misuse the body. 3. Production-Work Work: Our effort to use nature for useful things. Production: The physical things we get from work. We must ask: What to produce? – Only what is needed for a healthy life. How to produce? – In ways that: Don't harm nature (eco-friendly) Are fair to people (people-friendly) 4. Justice and Preservation Justice: Recognizing and fulfilling relationships with others. Justice builds trust in society. If someone is unjust, stop them and help them understand right behaviour. Preservation: Caring for nature through: Preservation ensures we live peacefully with nature. Protection Enrichment Right use of natural resources 5. Exchange and Storage Exchange: Sharing physical things with others for mutual benefit, not profit. Storage: Keeping extra things safely for future use, without hoarding. These actions must come from understanding needs and relationships—not from greed. 3. Scope of this system Society starts from the family and grows to include: Neighbourhoods Villages/towns Nation World family Every person has a role in making these systems work from family to world level. If each of us understands and lives by these principles, we can build a universal human order—a peaceful, happy world. Key Takeaways: Our true goals are: happiness, prosperity, trust and co-existence. We need five systems to support these goals: Education, Health, Work, Justice, and Exchange. These begin at home and extend to the entire world family. Living with this understanding leads to harmony in society and nature. 3.6 Vision for the Universal Human Order The Vision for the Universal Human Order emphasizes a world where all individuals live with happiness, prosperity and mutual harmony. It begins with right understanding in the individual and extends to building a society based on trust, justice, and coexistence at all levels—from family to the global community. Meaning and explanation: A society is formed by families living together with a shared goal of human well-being. The smallest unit of this structure is the family, where values, understanding, and systems for living in harmony begin to take shape. This foundation expands gradually from family to world family order. Family Order is the system where responsible individuals live together for: Developing right understanding and right feelings (like trust and respect), especially in the next generation. Participating in productive work to ensure prosperity. Encouraging contribution to the larger society through various roles. The Family Cluster Order and higher levels (village, nation, world) are needed when goals require cooperation beyond the individual family: The Family Cluster Order and the progressively larger social units are established to address needs and goals that cannot be fulfilled by a single family alone. Such as village order, village cluster, nation and ultimately the world family. While individual families can ensure happiness, health, and prosperity within their own unit, some objectives—like infrastructure, education systems, healthcare facilities, governance, and resource management—require the participation and cooperation of multiple families. Natural outcomes of right understanding include: Happiness, through right feelings in the Self. Prosperity, through need-based physical facility supported by understanding. Sustainable living, starting in the family and extending to society. My Participation (Value) in the Society (Effort for Harmony in the Society): Ensuring Happiness: Support right understanding and right feelings in each family member, especially the next generation. Ensuring Health: Help maintain nurturing, protection, and proper use of the body for all family members. Ensuring Prosperity: Help family: Recognize physical needs. Engage in proper production. Ensure protection and right use of resources. Social Engagement: Encourage and support family members to contribute to larger social dimensions. Key Takeaways: A harmonious society is achieved when each individual begins with responsible participation at the family level and gradually contributes to larger orders. This collective effort forms the Universal Human Order.